Christmas cheese...sorry, cheer

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a singer in possession of a smooth voice, must produce a Christmas album. And even those who sing like sandpaper (*coughsRodStewartcoughs*), if they have made a favourable name for themselves, cannot escape the expectation that they will lend their talents to the cheesiest songs in the Western canon - and donate part of the proceeds to charity into the bargain.

Nevertheless, I will say it now: I LOVE good Christmas music. The operative word there being good. I cannot, for instance, fathom the desire to spend $22.99 on Justin Bieber's Under The Mistletoe (Deluxe Version) (which, although it includes some pleasantly bearable tunes, is decidedly killed by Busta Rhymes' atrocious addition, a stale Mariah Carey revival and incredibly fussy vocals). Or the hype around A Partridge Family Christmas Card...oh wait, sorry, there was no hype.

So what is good Christmas music, you ask? Stylistically, jazz is always going to win - there's something about its smooth potential for instantly festive background music that beats Cyndi Lauper's in-your-face rendition of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" or ANY version of Wham's whingy "Last Christmas", everytime. But so long as the heart's in it, singers can get away with a lot...how else can one explain the infectious zeal of Mariah Carey's ubiquitous Merry Christmas? If it all seems like too much of a minefield however, here's 10 albums I've deemed safe to listen to during the holiday season: complete with cheese warnings, should your taste in cheer differ from mine.

#10. The Killers

(RED) CHRISTMAS EP (2011)

Not much cheese on this one, but not too much cheer either. While it eventually lightens up with the country rock of "The Cowboys' Christmas Ball", this EP addresses the heavier side of Christmas. Angst features, not least of all in a consideration of Joseph's situation regarding the impregnation of his virgin wife. However, for those who prefer a slightly sardonic view of Santa and the Christmas story and a little Elton John with their Flowers, this is the collection for you. Proceeds go to (RED) as well, so it's not a waste of money, even if you decide to hate the songs post-purchase.

Listen to: Don't Shoot Me Santa

#9. The Wiggles

WIGGLY, WIGGLY CHRISTMAS (1996)

I kid you not. I'm sorry, but Christmas just isn't Australian without The Wiggles. And 1990's Wiggles at that! Sure, the harmonies mightn't quite mask the very ordinary timbre of the vocals, but there are few artists who can fill a Christmas album with originals and live to tell the tale. The rock n' roll of "Wiggly Wiggly Christmas" is enough to inspire coordination in even the most reluctant of dancers, while old favourite "Ding Dong Merrily On High" is a cheerful instrumental break for brass and synth.  Admittedly, it is only socially acceptable to listen to this album with a 5yo or two in the house, but come on...we've all succumbed to the infectiously fun actions of "Go Santa Go"...haven't we?

Listen to: Go Santa Go

#8. The Idea Of North

THIS CHRISTMAS (2012)

While most artists struggle against typecasting, Christmas albums are not the place to expand one's musical style. And with a sound as good as The Idea Of North have down, why would you bother changing? Sweetly jazzy solos, ad lib instrumental effects, a dazzling mesh of close harmony and, of course, a whacking good dose of James Morrison: it's that selfsame sound that The Idea Of North bring to this collection, with the expertise we've come to expect of them. Calypso carol "Mary's Boy Child" receives the "Mas Que Nada" treatment  to stunning effect and "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" swings with jaunty vocals and a Morrison solo. The album has a predominantly mellow tone however, with lesser-known ballad-style carols making up much of the second half. Kudos for the non-creepy, non-cheesey album cover, too.

Listen to: Mary's Boy Child

#7. James Morrison

CHRISTMAS (2007)

I love jazz, I love (good) Christmas music...how could I not love James Morrison's Christmas collection? The man has perfected jazz. The track listing includes comprehensive coverage of the best Christmas carols, steering towards a distinctly traditional feel with "We Three Kings", "Away In A Manger," "Silent Night" and "The First Noel". "Mary's Boy Child" provides an opportunity for Morrison to really break out in swinging style, ensuring the album doesn't fall into drowsy lethargy. Gently hissing snare and electric guitar solos sit atop a polished jazz band and once Emma Pask's sultry vocals are added to the mix the combination is complete.

Listen to: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

#6. Bing Crosby

CHRISTMAS CLASSICS (2006)

For traditional Christmas ear-fare you really can't go past Crosby. If you don't melt under the influence of such smooth vocals you are a rock in human form. 'Nuff said.

Listen to: White Christmas (Crosby AND Sinatra...winning)

#5. Kenny G

MIRACLES: THE HOLIDAY ALBUM (1994)

A frizzy-haired saxophonist eyeing off a naked baby probably takes the cake as the creepiest Christmas album cover I've ever seen (though Olivia Newton-John and John Tavolta sure as hell tried to take that prize this year), but Kenny G's 8x platinum Christmas album Miracles is one of the most beautiful instrumental collections you'll find. Perfect for when you're sick of hearing the same old lyrics over and over but still feel it necessary to set that Christmas mood, the unobtrusive saxophone arrangements drift peacefully amidst brushed snare, rippling piano and sentimental strings.

Listen to: The Little Drummer Boy

#4. Cast of Jersey Boys
SEASONS GREETINGS (2011)

Even tribute bands can't escape the clutches of Christmas commercialism. After reviving the magic of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in the Broadway hit Jersey Boys, members from the various international casts combined to sing their way through a celebration of carols - in four-part harmony, of course. Shamelessly plagiarising drum beats and bass grooves from original Four Seasons hits, this album cleverly weaves traditional Christmas carols with a blatantly "Jersey Boys" sound. Medleys abound, with most tracks including two or more carols in one. "Little Drummer Boy" ditches the disco (though not the retro keyboard) for a more dramatic mesh of harmony, while the traditionally jazzy "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" was a Tony Award Winner. There's plenty of cheese on this one, but for those of us who were wearing out the repeat button with the original show soundtrack, this album comes as a more than satisfactory way to continue the obsession cheer through the holidays.

Listen to: Jingle Bell Rock (Australian cast)

#3. Diana Krall

CHRISTMAS SONGS (2005)

Again with the jazz! And it's hard to beat Krall's smokey vocals, coupled with the hot brass of The Clayton-Hamiliton Jazz Orchestra. Sticking with a safe repertoire of the old familiar favourites, Krall's voice takes centre-stage in a delightfully planned program of peppy and chilled renditions. It grieves me that this album has existed for 5 Christmases and this is the first time I've ever listened to it in its entirety, but better late than never. This one's going to be on repeat.

Listen to: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

#2. Mariah Carey

MERRY CHRISTMAS (1994)

There is no in-between with this album: you either love it or hate it with equal and unequivocal passion. As it was a household holiday staple during my childhood I am in the first camp and I make no apologies for this fact. For me, this album rings in the Christmas season like nothing else and I wear it as a badge of pride that I am not one of the shoppers who has to beat a hasty retreat from Westfield at the first notes of "All I Want For Christmas Is You". Angst-ridden originals aside though, Carey's powerhouse vocals produce stunning deliveries that most covers can't poke a stick at - and the lush, gospel-inspired arrangements of traditional carols "Joy To The World" and "Hark The Herald Angels Sing"(among others) seriously raised the bar for Christmas albums.

Listen to: O Holy Night

#1. Michael Buble

LET IT SNOW (2007)

Before he released the 'meh' that was Christmas, Michael Buble had a really beautiful holiday album in him. Sadly, it never grew longer than an EP, but Let It Snow is worth playing on repeat in favour of its longer cousin. Stunningly lush orchestral arrangements are reminiscent of the vintage class of Crosby and Sinatra, and topped by sensitive vocals from Buble, every song is a winner here. The only thing lacking is a mince pie and a glass of red.

Listen to: Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

2011: my year in music reviews

Best new album: Reflecting back on this year, I realise I haven't listened to even half the new music that's been released...remember the reason I started this blog was because I am shamefully lazy at exploring new music properly. But from what I have heard floating around the airwaves I have to say Gotye's Making Mirrors impressed me rather a lot, so it can bear this prestigious title for 2011. It is both refreshing and reassuring to see such new and original innovation emerging amongst all the Jessie J and Nicki Minaj.

Worst new album: I'm sure Lady GaGa's latest offering would have qualified, but I have denied myself the displeasure of sitting through that and so will give this anti-award to The Kooks' Junk Of The Heart. On the upside, it was completely forgettable.

Favourite musical purchase: The Original Broadway Cast recording of JERSEY BOYS. Beautifully updated versions of epically classic songs became without a doubt my most-listened-to album of 2011. So. much. love.

Favourite review: Definitely going to give this one to Tom Waits' epic Raindogs - such a sophisticated and eclectic collection of originals gave me much delicious listening material that was beautiful to attempt to illustrate for you guys.

Most tortuous review: I have to be honest with you here dear readers...I chickened out of one review this year. Yes, I, The Wanna-Be Music Journo, who has sat through the pain of Lady GaGa, admitted defeat in the face of one album. I began with my best objective ears on and ended rather soon after by pressing 'stop' and backing slowly away from my laptop in the middle of track 3. The offending album? Joanna Newsom's Ys. I couldn't. stand it. However, I plan to return and make it through the album dead or alive just to review it for you all. Stay tuned for the carnage later this summer...

Most surprising discovery: Nothing could have surprised me more than my newfound love for glockenspiel music, resulting in my purchase of Rockabye Baby!'s U2 album. Glock 'n roll dudes!

Album that elicited the largest volume of 'meh': The 'meh' reaction is surely the most terrifying of emotions applicable to the job of a reviewer. Such albums fall into the chasms of indifference, forever doomed to a life of limbo somewhere between Flipping Fantastic and Utterly Abysmal. Sadly, this title presents me with a difficult decision...but it definitely settles somewhere between Florence + The Machine's Lungs and Michael Buble's Christmas.

Most forgettable over-played radio-trash: Let's please not mention Rebecca Black or Friday ever, ever again...for her sanity and mine, okay? And if the radio stopped playing Adele I might actually be able to contemplate the thought of reviewing her without screaming.

New favourite band for 2011: This one has to go to Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, once again courtesy of Jersey Boys. Don't roll your eyes at me. I'm certain I would have been a fan a long time ago, had I been able to find a more comprehensive collection of Four Seasons originals, but the epicness that was the stage musical has now opened the flood gates for my intense Jersey-love. This won't be the last you hear of this. I said, don't roll your eyes!

Most anticipated 2012 release: Word on the street was that Mumford & Sons' new album would be in my eager mitts before the Harbour Bridge explodes with fireworks, but with no projected release date as yet, a 2012 would seem to be on the cards. With rumours of a very different sound from Sigh No More, the band seem set to prove their versatility, resulting in much excitement from me.

Next on the list...
I'm craving 70s, 80s and some noughties alternative, so:

• Sufjan Stevens' Illinois
• The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds
• Angus & Julia Stone's A Book Like This
• Traffic's John Barleycorn Must Die
• The Grateful Dead's American Beauty
• The Velvet Underground's The Velvet Underground
• The Who's Tommy
• And yes...Joanna Newsom's Ys. When I can face it.

Bring on the holidays :D

Big hits don't die

Album: Jersey Boys
Artist: Original Broadway Cast
Label: Rhino
Release date: 1 November, 2005
Peak chart position/sales: (US) #85, GOLD

RATING: 5/5 stars

Just for the moment, my beloved Fab Four are no longer called John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Perhaps, had the four Liverpuddlians finished school and gone onto ordinary careers, The Four Seasons would in fact have claimed the title for themselves - and deservedly so. I haven't fallen this hard for a band since I first heard "She Loves You" and I'm so totally smitten I can hardly explain. But I'll do my best.

The Four Seasons, for some curious reason, seem to have fallen into a black hole of ignorance forged by the world's obsession with the British Invasion, most notably The Beatles, who happened to be active for almost exactly the same period as Frankie Valli's quartet. But it hasn't stopped the latter from permeating the musical world - even if you haven't realised it yet. Less than half an hour after pressing 'play' on the hit musical soundtrack of Jersey Boys, you will have danced your way through positively irresistible tunes "Sherry", "Big Girls Don't Cry", "Walk Like A Man" and "December 1963 (Oh What A Night)"...and don't think you don't know them, because you DO. Go find them on YouTube and then tell me that you don't know at least half the words already.

You can't make the mistake of writing off the Seasons as fluffy, happy-happy 60s pop either - despite the undeniably cheerful overtones, there is a depth and complexity to the music that keeps your ears coming back for more. Of course, the stage musical is INCREDIBLE and if you have the faintest ghost of an opportunity to see it send me the ticket instead don't pass that chance up, seriously. But it is the music that will take your heart hostage in the end. Breathtaking chart-topper "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You", contagiously catchy "C'mon Marianne",  a soaring medley of hits "Stay", "Let's Hang On", "Opus 17" and "Bye Bye Baby" and the satisfyingly epic show-closer "Who Loves You" fill the second half of the album and there's a bonus London cast recording of "Beggin'" tacked on the end. What makes this album such an absolute delight is the quality of the modern arrangements and professional accuracy with which the Broadway cast absolutely nail the authentic Four Seasons sound, adding a bit of pizazz with the definitive Broadway musical sound and bringing the classic tunes confidently into the new millennium for an eager new audience.

If you haven't seen the stage musical YOU HAVEN'T LIVED the occasional dialogue snippets during and between tracks may be meaningless and, granted, due to the layout of the show not all of the songs are present in their entirety. But whether you're a Four Seasons fan, or are simply longing for some of the best songwriting in existence to come out of the 1960s, this is a spectacularly revamped version of the originals that is impressively accurate, totally wonderful and entirely loveable. A much-needed revival for a truly first-class band.

Is it worth my $$$? - Worth. Its. Weight. In. Gold.

Listen to: Sherry, Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You, Medley: Stay/Let's Hang On/Opus 17 (Don't You Worry 'bout Me)/Bye Bye Baby...then go and buy the album already!